the improbability of us

this is the first in
a series of three poems
.
.
,

Amsterdam
‘Kinda thought
I was a mystery
and then I thought
I wasn’t meant to be’
.
.
.
.
and how could it be…

that seeing your dark luxurient hair
shiny in the overhead light as it swished
and shimmered in rhythm to the warmest laughter
this pained heart needed to hear
and a voice only angels own

that seeing you
across the crowded room
through every invisible stranger
as if nothing else in this world could matter
but circling around from my dark corner to see your face

and why did…

the universe intercede on our behalf?
shepharding our two lonely souls to this room
this purposeful accident of us both
being at that Sunday night party
we had no plans to attend

’cause darlin’…

i had lost all hope by then
because each glint and glimmer
every sparkled facet of hope i once had
this jeweled hope i kept tucked in my heart’s pocket
the foolish dream that someday…

somewhere…someone…
some how would be there
waiting only for me to find her
and somedays the hope that kept me barely breathing
could not remind this heart any reason to exist

and there you were
holding court standing your ground
as if you belonged every place you stood
little joy creating laughter everywhere you are
everything i wasn’t or could ever be

and darlin’

i can tell you now i was
dulling this troubled heart that night
but the searing ripples criss crossing my chest
once these eyes locked in on yours
that slice of infinity gaze that shook me alive again

and i knew right then
i would have to be everything i wasn’t
and me pleading with the host who i didn’t know
nodding in the direction of your unmistakeable aura
‘please, sober me up. i have someone very important to talk to’
.
.
.
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and when my

painted furniture finally met your artwork window panes
this huge apartment you lived in with Lexie your Buddha Dane
when all the shelves were filled with our collectons
i had to ask why you lived in a space you could never fully furnish

’cause i thought if i ever met someone, he could just move in’

as if it was as rational as breathing
.
.
.
.
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Your time will come
if you wait for it,
if you wait for it
It’s hard, believe me…
I’ve tried
Your time will come
if you wait for it,
if you wait for it
It’s hard, believe me…
I’ve tried
.

shy like me

for a shy Miss…
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images (37)
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i knew this girl, when i was a kid
and wasn’t she, the quietest little thing
the palest skin, an overabundance of freckles
a Dutchboy haircut and bangs that covered her eyes

she was the first girl, i ever saw blush
when i handed her a homemade Valentine card
but she hardly ever said a word, in class or at lunch
and i’m guessing, that’s why i kinda’ liked her so much

oh, did Dianne ever come alive on the swing tho
i would stand on the wooden seat, and she would sit
and we would look in each others eyes, as we got higher
she would have the biggest smile, as she threw her head back

and the wind would blow through her hair
and i really loved, just seeing her face light up
we were only friends, we liked each other’s company
i was so grateful to find someone who was, shy like me
.
.
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as always, this poem was written to
the tempo of this song::::enjoy::::
.

Through

Setting the Dark on Fire

Through that night

and from across a room

Through crowded strangers

and all my awkward shyness

Through every hurt remembered

and scattering debris of aborted plans

Through a slow death in every unloved soul

and that night, that miracle night

Through our infinity of eyes

and every hum and flutter

Through faith rewarded

and there was you

and every night

there was you

reach me

thCA1FLI0V

through

all of my life

i’ve hid inside shadows,

never willing to believe there

was someone like you to

reach me.
.
.
.
please,

don’t give up on

who you think you’ve found.

because it’s you,

and only you

will ever

find

me.

written April 15 2013
submitted to 20 Lines A Day
prose and poetry challenge for April