a profound thank you to all of you who have written messages in the past weeks, wondering about my return and an apology for not answering. i didn’t expect to be away this long and for these reasons but life seems to have its own agenda despite our hopes and dreams.
almost immediately issues in our 6 unit condo building became very divisive, a longtime self governing cooperative community is now at a dangerous crossroads. a couple is moving out and asking for an unreasonable, irrational accommodation that long and short term has the potential to threaten our personal security and finances. the short story, several of us now have to resort to taking this issue to court, which to non litigious people like Scout and myself is just beyond belief. i have been utilizing my writing skills to try to break the stalemate, but to no avail.
and as of today, off went a several page synopsis to our lawyer.
and if that was the whole of the troubles it would be enough, but unfortunately that issue has taken a distant back seat to what we learned in a two day span. Scout’s favorite aunt who is our neighbor on the farm and who immediately welcomed my daughter and i into this new family, always had a gift for Cbear on holidays and treated her as a blood grandchild, aunt shirley has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. the following day after some routine tests for fatigue at the hospital, Scout’s dad was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer.
Bob, Scout’s dad is a very important, restorative person in my life and he and Sue, his wife have always treated me as a second son, and are the stable family i never had. i normally retreat when i have issues, i deal with them quietly and don’t make them public and writing this is very, very difficult….it makes it all too real.
we have been overwhelmed with the enormity of this news, of this new reality and i’m not sure how much more i can say right now.
Scout and i are taking alternate weekends traveling to Louisville to be there and help out, her mom needs us there as much as possible and that will be our schedule for the foreseeable future. our annual houseboat trip is coming up next week, Bob is bound and determined to make this trip, and we are equally determined to make it happen. i did some of my best writing on the trip last year, it has always been a very special place for us all.
.
.
night water stillness
.
.
the best time of day,
when I’m really awake is
when i hear the rest
.
.
of the world asleep.
and here on this lake tonight,
trees along this cove
.
.
are deep in their dreams.
the leaves whispered their good night’s
and vowed to rustle
.
.
again tomorrow,
when the lake breeze comes ashore.
do fish ever sleep?
.
.
i don’t hear them now
in this three a. m. quiet…
splashing the surface
.
.
filling their bellies
with bugs skimming the water.
they’ll be awake soon…
.
.
but at this moment
when the only sound I hear
are these words i write,
.
.
i count my blessings
and thank the universe for
night water stillness.
.
.
.
.
who could know then 