the white dress

this is the second
in a series of
3 poems

1) the improbability of us
.
.
.
.
a beautiful instrumental to read by.
.

.
.
the white dress
.
.
.
i found that photo of you…
like all the serendipitous details
of this twelve year improbable union….it appeared,
falling through time when i wasn’t looking…
face up, lightly to the floor…
.
.
i stood there…
in my infinite moment….lost
before reaching, soft cradling all
its significance in these large hands…
retracing the conflicted memory of that day…
.
.
the surface scratched,
its edges curling and slightly frayed…
the years hidden in a drawer… in between,
taking its inevitable toll…and yet,
there you were… always.
.
.
looking over your shoulder,
peering into everything i ever was…
reassuring my every mistake and imperfection…
reminding me, to myself…because there were days then,
i relied on you to remember who i am
.
.
you brought the photo home that day
casually, with a nonchalant laugh set it down,
as if i wouldn’t notice…..you,
and all that i ever wanted… standing,
with your back exposed in your perfect silhouette,
.
.
outlined in a white wedding dress.
as if i wouldn’t notice, each fine laced detail
and the small elegant train puddled on
the glossy warm oak floor.
as if i wouldn’t ask…
.
.
oh….you just tried it on for a laugh,
while you were there fitting a bridesmaid gown…
and me desperately, silently, yearning to make it real
but i was broken, and could offer only the moments we were in,
and all this quiet heart could ever give you
.
.
and oh, the moments we lived inseperably
and every trust of mine sliced in two have healed,
and embroidered whole again in loyal, brightly thread
and together, again and again persevering against the wind
and our family, our friendship thriving now, where there was none
.
.
.
.
.
.
i found that photo of you,
and i’m gently cradling all its
significance in my hands right now…
and darlin’…you need to know, there is
something… stirring deep in this heart of mine…

84 thoughts on “the white dress

  1. Can I press the like more than once.
    Your words โ€ฆthese words are etched on my heart, I listen to the piano, which is sublime, I read your words and you have brought me to tears.
    My god – this is so stunning – I can’t thank you enough – you have brought magic to my terrible day {{hugs}} and more {{hugs}}

  2. Reblogged this on Ramblings From A Mum and commented:
    If you haven’t read whocouldknowthen – please go and have a look at how this man writes,. This piece brought me to tears tonight.

  3. So incredibly delicate and beautiful. I’m so happy that you have love and each other.

  4. Tiffany Coffman says:

    I love when you do this. Beautiful pairing.

  5. BeWithUs says:

    Beautiful words, as always!!

    Btw, Happy October, my friend!

    May this month be a beautiful and inspiring one for you and your loved ones!!

    Take care and be well, always~ Cheers!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Kelley says:

    This is so beautiful I am crying! Such great writing and a wonderful track to set it to.

    • geez, Kelly…so glad to meet you, sorry about the tears.
      honestly, when i first heard that song, i definitely had the sniffles too,
      it’s just achingly beautiful. ty so much for the honor, of sharing your pages.

      • Kelley says:

        The honor is all mine.

      • well, reblogging is a high honor in my universe Kelly,
        one that i don’t take for granted..and to think i almost
        didn’t post this poem, thinking it was so personal that
        it wouldn’t resonate beyond my own heart.

        so…i was a little shocked this morning..pleasantly so, ty.

  7. Kelley says:

    Reblogged this on Casa de la K and commented:
    Such a beautiful piece of writing and set to the track selected it will move you to tears.

  8. Well done. You had me holding the photo in my own hand, and feeling much of what you felt.

    I read in one of your replies, that you like and are inspired by music. I encourage you to listen to Mike Scott… Especially “An Appointment with Mr. Yeats.”

    • hi Scott, ty so much for that wonderful compliment, this writer couldn’t ask
      for any more than that. and no doubt i will listen to the song suggestion,
      i’ve written 4 or 5 poems that were inspired purely by the music.ty again.

  9. Absolutely beautiful. I am so blessed to have found your blog. Thank you.

  10. To say the music and your words are emotionally stirring would be a grave understatement. She undoubtedly gave a love of beauty and strength to open your heart and broken soul to such complete healing that you can express the depth of love only a few experience.

    • oh paintswithwords, what you’ve said here…no one
      could express how i feel any clearer than you have, ty.
      and yes, she has healed all the broken with her expansive heart.

      she was the one, years before i even knew, that told me
      i should be writing… and would not let up until i began.
      i’ve probably written 40 poems to her since April, i never
      tire of telling her how i feel.

      ty so much for your incredible reply, kinda’ took my breath away.

  11. So full of truths…… thanks for taking the time with music playing to pen these words.

    • well ty, nutsfortreasure. i really appreciate you taking the
      time to read my poetry.

      • I fall so far behind then I am yanked back in to my blog and try to catch up with my followers I really do tonight pain is so bad it is good to sit with ice and chill while I poor through all the blogs and comment on the ones that move me ๐Ÿ™‚ and yours did.

      • oh i know what you mean, i am days behind now. some days it’s ok,
        but then others there’s an avalanche of posts, i just can’t keep up.
        now that i’m writing prose, it’s even worse, prose is so time consuming.

        so sorry to hear about your pain, hope the ice helps a little.
        and ty for sharing that, it means a lot to me.

      • You are very welcome. Some think I re-blog when I am lazy I re-blog to share something WORTHY ๐Ÿ™‚

        Ice and shot last night I hope will begin to heal some of the shoulder but there is heavy damage the MRI said so I will work hard to get it back ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. SirenaTales says:

    Well! You’ve quite taken my breath away with this bracing, tender work of loveliness and love. The raw and achingly beautiful lines “…there you were…always//looking over your shoulder//peering into everything i ever was…there were days then,//i relied on you to remember who i am…” especially move me. Speaking of moving, I can see a dance piece inspired by this :). But perhaps more to your interest, I find your work to be deeply cinematic–perhaps it is your background in visual art that feeds your very visual and evocative posts. Your selection of music is spot on for me, as well. Just went back to “Return To Me” as I was making dinner tonight…the haunting music for this post is stunning and enriches this reader’s experience. Bravo, my friend. Er, yeah baby!!

    • Sirena, i dug deep for this poem, it near hurt, writing it. this is a painful memory for me, despite our eventual joy and remaining together, even while traditional marriages we knew fell away, there is something about that white dress for me…..

      and this piano piece, is truly an inspiration in itself. to me, ALL of LIFE is in that song.

      really, a dance piece to this? oh, and i have lots of interest in the art of movement, even though i don’t understand it’s inception, how one interprets emotion in movement .when i was much younger, many of my friends were dancers, some in Juiliard, some in the well known dance companies performing in NY then. the devotion to the craft always amazed and attracted me, i was very drawn to dancers then.

  13. This obviously came from somewhere deep deep down but thanks so much for digging it out and sharing it! Truly a pleasure to read such personal and touching words!

    • well, ty for recognizing that poetic..i almost didn’t post this because
      of how personal it was, i wasn’t sure i could talk about it much either.
      but, as always the sharing of these reveals takes on a life of its own,
      so i’m glad i did. ty, for your tender insight, i really do appreciate it.

  14. hhhhhhmmmm… friend, this has the beautiful French fragrance called Eau de Temps Fragrance of the Past~ Magic with the “k” ! BEAUTIFUL developing !

  15. bgbowers says:

    This poem is a beautiful and eloquent insight into a relationship. It also turned my mind toward my own marriage as I read. Your writing is beautiful, insightful and reveals a sensitive soul.
    Oh, and wonderful music too ๐Ÿ™‚

    • hi Bianca and a very warm welcome to you.

      ty so much for your kind words, i can only thank the goddess
      that i’ve discovered poetry, that i can finally express in these
      words what my heart knows, but my mouth can’t always say.

      Scout, my partner hasn’t read this yet, she will, and i’ll be
      ready then to tell her what she needs to hear….it’s time…..

      our relationships are so complex, marriage especially. how many
      ups and downs Scout and i have had, yet through it all, here we are,
      exploring, rediscovering another layer of devotion, and friendship
      with each other. so much deeper, more profound than just skin on skin.
      i’m just so grateful to have experienced it, the way my life was going,
      before meeting her, this didn’t seem like it was ever going to happen for me.

  16. This leaves me breathless! What a beautiful tribute to your love. Magical and dreamy quality filled with yearning. ๐Ÿ™‚ Wonderful!

    • ty , so very much for reading this Melanie, i’m not sure it even matters whether this is
      the best i’ve ever written , but it the most important poem i’ve penned, by far.
      12 years in the making, 12 years of my heart turning this over in my head again and again.

      i’m not sure i can tell you what it means to me, that you took the time to read this and
      leave me your wonderful reaction, ty, ty, ty.

  17. ~REBECCA DAWN~ says:

    Reblogged this on PRINCE CHARMING ISN'T HERE.

  18. Talicha J. says:

    Wow you pulled me into the emotion of this piece, great work!

    • hi Talicha, so good to see you again, ty for telling me that,
      ’cause this one came from the deep place. i really had to reach
      back, not as easy to write as i imagined it would be.

      ty again, i’ll be over to your place shortly!

      • Talicha J. says:

        ๐Ÿ™‚ I understand how hard it can be to get some of these poems out. It’s good to be back, it’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to read and comment on anything.

      • oh, i guess we’ve both been away at the same time,
        i think i’ve missed the past 4 weeks here.

        and yeah, they take a toll sometimes, this one did
        but i’m really pleased it’s been released and received
        so well. somehow, that really helps!

      • Talicha J. says:

        We’ve been slacking! Lol it’s good to let things like that out from time to time, very therapeutic ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. brian miller says:

    really a powerful and moving piece….the cradling of that photo and all the memories that it brings with it…so tender, for sure…and felt.

    • hey Brian! and ty, i really appreciate that you could
      take away the emotions in this poem. i’ve decided to go for
      broke in my poetry, i’ve stripped away all the metaphors,
      and writing straight from my heart.

  20. Alex Dissing says:

    This is the first time I’ve read your work. I’m impressed! This poem beautifully captured a beautiful moment. I could vividly see each and every line.

    • hi Alex and very warm welcome to you. ty so much,
      i really appreciate your compliments. i’ve only
      been writing poetry since April, so encouragement
      like yours really means a lot to me.

      this poem came straight fom the heart, no filters
      and very little editing. sometimes these poems just
      pour out……ty again!

  21. Sue says:

    Really evocative, and I love pairing poems and music, too.

    =)

    • hi Sue ty so much, and a very warm welcome to you!
      do you really, i’ve seen so few poets do this, now i’m
      really anxious to read your poetry. i’ll be over shortly!

    • Sue, i’m sorry but Blogger will not accept any of my information
      so i’ll post my comment here, hope you see it.

      your poem expressed such an enduring foundational love,
      stable and secure like the mighty trees. nice song choice too.
      i enjoyed this very much, ty.

  22. grapeling says:

    emotive but not sticky; finely penned ~ M

  23. So intense, elegant and telling…this is good!

    • ty MJ and a very warm welcome to you.
      i tried to post a comment on your poem,
      but Blogger is just giving me fits tonight
      so i’ll post my comment here and hope you see it.

      Released from the promises
      That never were mine

      i really love that line and the poem within
      the calendar was incredibly creative. kudos to you!

  24. ayala says:

    Powerful and beautiful piece!

  25. Wow ! I love the reflections and emotions intertwined here. I was pulled in from the very beginning.

  26. Wow. This is absolutely beautiful! So much emotion & love. Wonderful job! ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. How absolutely wonderful. I would be over the moon if somebody felt moved to write this for or about me. Thank you for sharing it with us all.

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