night water stillness…Haiku

.

the best time of day,

when I’m really awake is

when i hear the rest

.
.

of the world asleep.

and here on this lake tonight,

trees along this cove

.
.

are deep in their dreams.

the leaves whispered their good night’s

and vowed to rustle

.
.

again tomorrow,

when the lake breeze comes ashore.

do fish ever sleep?

.
.

i don’t hear them now

in this three a. m. quiet…

splashing the surface

.
.

filling their bellies

with bugs skimming the water.

they’ll be awake soon…

.
.

but at this moment

when the only sound I hear

are these words i write,

.
.

i count my blessings

and thank the universe for

night water stillness.

.
.
.
tomatoes, holly creek 007.

100 thoughts on “night water stillness…Haiku

  1. Chris C says:

    Absolutely wonderful! Maybe I’m just really out of it, but this is the first time I’ve seen anyone put a series of haikus into a larger work. Anyway, I loved it, thank you for writing this. 🙂

    • hi Chris, thank you for your wonderful compliment, i really appreciate it.

      well, i have to credit errinspelling. for ‘stacking’ Haiku and where i first saw it done and liked it…a lot. i’ve written 5 so far, they all have the Haiku next to the title, 2 are on the ‘your favorites’ list on my sidebar so maybe i’m doing something right?

      these are the first classic form poems i’ve written, and i have to honest and say i’m smitten with this form as i use it, the discipline to be concise where every word is essential is much less restrictive than i feared. so i thank you very much for your encouragement and a warm welcome to you.
      .

      • Chris C says:

        I hadn’t seen Errinspelling’s blog before, but I’m enjoying it as much as I’m enjoying yours! I think I might try my hand at it when I have some time. It must have taken you a while to write this with all the constraints; you’re a much braver person than I. If you had any difficulty with the restrictive form it didn’t come through in the writing. Anyway, I look forward to seeing more, and if I do try this form, I’ll link your blog in the post so people can see where I got the idea.

        Thanks again, and enjoy your week!

      • oh, and i forgot to say i absolutely love errinspelling’s poetry, i tell her all the time!

  2. well Chris, that’s the best compliment i could ever recieve, that you might try writing one like this, ty for that.

    i’m a little embarraassed to say it did not take long, less than an hour to write but i usually have poems half written in my head before i sit down and start typing. this form ‘feels right’ to me, kinda’ fits me like a glove and i’m really glad i just swallowed my fear about it…i hope you do too, looking forward to yours then…*smiling now*

  3. Sky Vani says:

    it’s 3 am, and the only sound i can hear at the moment is your words. thank you for the wonderful image that i just saw in my imagination.

    “i count my blessings
    and thank the universe for
    night water stillness”
    ~ i especially like that!

    • hi Sky and ty…i wrote that at 3am too. i had a whole table to myself on top of our houseboat, under a large canopy with all my keyboards and tablets and would spend the entire night up there, just writing. what an incredible experience it was, absolute stillness and quiet…sometimes, like the first 3 days i never got to sleep, just dropped my weary self into the hot tub up there and kinda’ started my day….

  4. Beautiful. I’m in love with the fish.

    • well, thank you and a warm welcome to you. the fish in that huge chain of lakes, Dale Hollow are an endless fascination for me as well.if i’m lucky, i’ll catch a glimpse of a huge one jumping clear of the water, suspended in midair, mouth open snatching a bug.

      and the tides turn, i saw an egret masquerading as a rock on the shore, and in a flash its long beak snared an unsuspecting little fish. and it’s why we go back there year after year!

  5. You are a versatile writer. You pull off every emotion with great ease!
    Loved this offering 🙂

    • thank you for such kindness Mamta,. when i wrote prose, i taught myself the discipline of saying but not saying, suggesting rather than a full description, i learned restraint; i needed to because i would slide into over wordrd sentimentality if i wasn’t careful. i think those lessons are helping my poetry now…

      and ’cause i haven’t sent any {{{ h u g s }}} and *smiles* today….

  6. Kirsten says:

    You painted us a masterpiece with your word pictures! I love part:
    “are deep in their dreams.
    the leaves whispered their good night’s
    and vowed to rustle”

    I can hear the trees saying good night…

    • oh thank you, that was the last edit i made and it’s my favorite part too. it’s amazing how serenity and pure quiet can inspire words to arrive. i so look forward to that trip every year, like a private writer’s retreat on water.

      • Kirsten says:

        I need to go on a “private writer’s retreat!” Being surrounded by the sounds of nature always brings me peace.

      • yes, it does that for me as well. we have a family farm in Indiana, we’ll be leaving Saturday morning to continue renovating the house….that place, that 100 acres of corn was and still is my original retreat.

        very fertile ground for writing, i really cherish my time there.

  7. yelena says:

    i love how you are able to make series of haiku flow so well together. this is so soothing..i can almost hear nature singing a quiet yet captivating song…beautiful!*many smiles*

  8. Gorgeous! Love the image of the trees deep in their dreams.

  9. Chatty Owl says:

    The sound of the other side of the world sleeping is the sound of a serene emotion, that evaporates into the air and thats how those two sides of the word meet… Shame that sometimes one side doesnt hear the other side’s beautiful soundless dreaming…

  10. Do fish ever sleep has to be my favourite.

    But they are all good. Nifty work.

    • well thank you skyraftwanderer, i’ve been slow to appreciate the Haiku form. but writing a few of these ‘entwined’ Haiku now, i guess it’s beginning to feel a little more comfortable to me.

      i really appreciate your encouragenment, it means a great deal to me.

  11. Tony Maude says:

    I really love the gentle tranquility that is transmitted by this piece; it’s so reflective of the quietness of the really small hours of the morning.

    • Tony, thank you for saying that because it’s when it was written, the last night of our 10 day annual houseboat trip by myself on the roof, at 3am. it takes a few days to actually ‘hear’ the quiet there, but by then i was in such a blissful state the words just spilled out. ty again.

  12. Talicha J. says:

    Nice read, I enjoyed this 🙂

  13. Maggie Grace says:

    Beautiful…the only sound you hear are the words you write. So poignant and sensory.

    • thank you Maggie Grace and a warm welcome to you. well, it really was a revelation when i realized there was no sound whatsoever but the words in my head, it’s why even when i’m home i’m up and awake from midnight to 4am writing..it’s such magic time for me. ty, again.

  14. brian miller says:

    it is a very peaceful place of being…in the dark while the world is asleep and staring out across the water….and the scratch of our pen to keep us company….

    • Yes it is, Brian i don’t often use the word bliss to describe how i feel often, living in Chacago, but that’s what it was. for days on end, under the canopy with my writing stuff…just me and my words…. ty brother.

  15. annotating60 says:

    Ican hear the stillness of the scene so loudly.>KB

  16. hisfirefly says:

    letting the stillness settle in, inhaling the peace

  17. Pamela says:

    Didn’t realize this was a line of haiku, wckt. Well done.

    Pamela

    • Pamela, yours might be the highest compliment, ty. i’ve written 5 of these ‘stacked’ Haiku now, after fearing and not appreciating the form. the syllable discipline is not at all as restrictive as i imagined it would be, actually just the opposite is occuring while i write.

      my intention was for the reader to be unaware that it was Haiku they were reading, so thank you so much!

  18. ayala says:

    Beautifully penned.

  19. SSMatthews says:

    And the universe agrees! Lovely work!

  20. I love the stacked haiku..had never seen that before. I especially enjoyed the quiet stillness of your words, I love the earth when most is asleep..especially at the water’s edge. Nice work

    • …hi Dorianna and a warm welcome to you….the ‘ stacked’ Haiku i’ ve seen wriiten by emy friend rrinspelling, tho her wonderful poetry is less a continual story…..and i have to wholeheartedly agree, this world has a certain perfection when everyone is asleep. ..thank you so much..

  21. A calming, serene Haiku – as calming as the stillness of the water and the silence in the early morn. {hugs}

  22. Miss Hannah says:

    At peace with an awake mind. Beautifully expressed for a writers writing type of heaven

  23. dawnhosking says:

    I’m in a very calm & peaceful place after reading that perfect piece – the image a treat too. Bliss, thank you 😉

    • i’m so happy to hear that Daawn, yes, Bliss…how often can we feel that in our day to day?
      we’ve taken that trip together foe 12 years now, and it’s always so hard to leave. ty so much.

      • dawnhosking says:

        I can see why. I love lakes and mountains.

      • so do i, and this place on the borders of Tennessee and Kentucky isenormous and virtually untouched. it was a WPA project, the valleyand towns in it were purposely flooded to feed Hoover Dam, which wasbuilt at the same time. we go a week after the season ends, when few peopleare there, it is truly magnificent.

      • dawnhosking says:

        Wow, you are so fortunate to do that. I hope to be able to visit Austria (quite a short trip) or Scotland in the near future. We were at the lake district last week and that was a treat.

      • hope to hear about then. and now i have to go wake up my daughter for school,
        so i’ll have to say goodbye for now Dawn. this was such a pleasure talking with
        you this morning, and it seems like our times match up you being where you are
        so please, anytime you feel like talking i’m always up at this time. ty, again.

      • dawnhosking says:

        Thank you, hope you all have a lovely day.

  24. “the leaves whispered their good night’s
    and vowed to rustle
    again tomorrow,” Lovely 🙂

    • i Wordifull Melanie and a warm welcome to you.

      and you’ve cited my favorite line as well, thank you.
      it’s actually the first sentence that just appeared that
      night at 3am atop the houseboat, by myself in absolute quiet.

      • Thank you for the warm welcome. I came across your heartfelt comment on my lovely friend Gigi’s recent post at Rethinking Life. Had to come show some support 🙂

      • oh thank you so much for telling me that, i really appreciate it.

        we put so much into our poetry and writing, i try and respond in kind
        when i leave a comment. which post of hers was it, if i can ask?

  25. You may know her as hitandrun. Her blog is called Rethinking Life

    This is the particular post: http://gigisrantsandraves.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/war-is-hell-but/

    • oh, yes, i do know her by that name and now i understand.

      Melanie, it really moves me that you would take the time
      to come here to offer your support, ty so very much.
      i will say that i always have time in my day and in my
      heart to hear a woman’s truth about this issue, always.

  26. i spilled hawaiian punch on my computer & i don’t know how to use this one with stupid windows 8 .there’s no email or anything on here.the battery will die in about 30 minutes .. i turned it upside down & tried to dry it with a hair dryer

  27. i have to answer you here for this question, b/c this computer has the reply button too far down too…….thanks for reminding me, i forgot….i was just telling this story to the wireless co. who fixes the wireless here,not the computer…
    i told him last winter my screen went black. a man came & took it & only charged me 220.00…the same thing happened in maryland in 09 & the criminals at geek something, not squad b/c they didn’t have that there made me get a new computer from them..800.00 & moved everything, but they couldn’t have moved it if it wasn’t still there & he talked me into giving him my computer.

  28. oh & it turned out the man was the wireless guy’s father….i was telling him his father was nice, not knowing.

  29. Amazing is all I can say. Moved by your words, as I am each time I step out the door and into nature, it is all around me and for that I am so thankful for surviving what took place here in my home and the rewards are simply as you stated. To see and feel all that is real.

    • ty nutsfortreasure, that warms my heart. we were meant to live among and be one with the trees and plants and wildlife, and there isn’t a day that goes by that the pull is ever present to leave this city i have to live in now and move to our farm full time. and even with the damage and destruction, there is nature’s miracle of renewing itself.

      and that is a constant source of profound poetic inspiration to me.

      • I am so glad you see that as well. I swear I share this planet with so many who do not see or have turned their backs on all she has to offer. With her endless beauty sure there is ugly people and ugly aftermaths but if we continue to seek the beauty in what is there and get others to see it like you did with your post little by little I swear we can change the world I just hope we still have enough time.

        My wish is for you to be able to return to your place as well.

  30. kalabalu says:

    Silent nights
    Waves ripple
    Fishes never sleep
    They watch the shore
    They watch you go
    Then they drift and sleep
    Yes.
    They want privacy for sure

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