dear friends…

images (10)
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…because nothing turned out the way i planned and what a gift that is….

…because whether we expect it or not, what we give has a mysterious way of returning: i certainly didn’t expect very much when i started this blog and the little i have given has returned in such an overwhelming abundance…

…because i think it’s important depite my painful shyness in real life, to come out from behind these metaphors i hide behind and talk directly to you, who have done so much for me

the ‘a little about’
blurb on my sidebar

‘a collector of small details that would otherwise go unnoticed…
a partner…a father…an ex-painter turned storyteller now dipping
a tentative toe into poetry…i write about love, a lot’

this little synopsis of me is certainly true. it’s the partner / poetry detail that has now morphed into something so completely different than the small plan i had originally intended; the simple idea to write my story in prose, the smudges and my multitude of imperfections unfolding over time in a diary of memories.

i do seem to remember writing in prose once… 🙂

and here we are, me pleading with my head now in the clouds to come back down to earth, adjusting these eyes to a form that seems foreign and a little confining…because since April 9th when i overcame every fear i ever had about poetry, joined 20 Lines a Day and have been writing this poetry of mine non stop since.

i will freely admit to never haven taken a class or workshop on writing.
i am quietly and in my forgiving solitude while listening to this heart, and always with music through my heaadphones spurred on by all the love and encouragemnt so freely given taken leap after leap into another abyss, taken yet another chance to write yet another poem.

and he we are almost 50 poems later…

because of all of you…

and the subject and focus of most of these poems is her, she who always seems to know how to heal this sometimes troubled heart; Scout, my loving and committed partner of 10 years. i think it’s very safe to say this writing of her, about her and i will continue and because i’m more of a ‘go where the current takes you’ person, this will now be the reason this blog exists….it is, what it is. 😉

and so for the benefit of my many new friends, as a prologue of sorts i am reposting 2 ‘foundation’ pieces that will help you understand how and why our relationship ‘is’. one is ‘Through’, a poem i wrote April 19th and the the other, ‘Who Could Know Then’, written a year ago in March before i joined WordPress. this will always be a very special favorite of mine, so much so it became the namesake for this blog. and as you will see a foreshadowing of what was to be, in my writing.

there will be other things i will explore as well and already have, the story / poems? i love to write, some totally fictional and others composites of people i know, scenes i’ve witnessed, small details that i’ll always remember. here they are in chronological order if you’re interested:

Mary of Thornes, of Roses
her last page
digital misivs
in the wings
leap

i’ll revisit some of my essays and short stories, mostly of important people in my life, all women and resurrect them in poetry. and then our farm, which we will be traveling to tomorrow morning. it has always been a tranquility place for me, a place to rejuvinate and be still and quiet…just the sound of the breeze rustling the 100 acres of corn.
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the farm 027
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and now i have an apology to offer, to all the new friends over the last few weeks who i have not visited yet, gotten to know you and your own work because it is a ritual of mine, i think it’s important. so please know i will get there very soon,

and now i need to thank you all for the overwhelming abundance of love and encouragement i’ve been given, there is a late bloom occuring and a heart opening and a grateful artist once again creating in ways he could never imagine, just a few short months ago…

because of all of you.

thank you all so very much
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91 thoughts on “dear friends…

  1. nahmastay to you my friend – enjoy your solitude on the farm, your talent has come to the fore with your poetical muse and I, for one am pleased that you have found yourself. Relax, breathe in the silence and return refreshed. So far in a short space of time as I mentioned previously, indeed who..could..know…then.. x

    • and you always there for me, thank you so much.

      i am so looking forward to this trip, to the quiet away from our
      hectic city, and surrounded by the ones i love the most.

      ::::peace::::my dearest friend.

    • SoundEagle says:

      SoundEagle is glad to be acquainted with you here, and also agrees with ramblingsfromamum, and would like to add that you write with a great deal of introspection and gratitude whilst taking stock of how far you have come along. There is an abiding intimacy juxtaposed with an expansiveness about your reflections and acknowledgements as you renew and forge connections with your readers and followers in this special post. And for that, SoundEagle has decided to subscribed to your blog.

      • a very warm welcome to you SoundEagle, i’m happy to meet you too .
        ty for leaving such a wonderful comment filled with so much kindness,
        and i am grateful for the gifts i’ve been given here on WP. i only
        hope i can return them while i’m here.

      • SoundEagle says:

        Hello! SoundEagle is delighted by your prompt reply.

        Considering your proclivity for deep reflections and poetic sublimations, SoundEagle hopes to have the pleasure and honour of your visits to and comments on some of SoundEagle’s posts and pages, especially if you like multimedia, multiplicity and multidisciplinarity.

  2. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words says:

    in the quiet shyness I think there’s always a voice
    you have penned the silence in words…
    ( I liked that Mary of Thorns…of Roses ) piece you have up there..
    I hope you enjoy your quiet, surrounded by what inspires you the most
    and I look forward to your thoughts when you are back…
    I know my “away” time was what I needed even if I ended up in Colorado’s worst fire in history….
    Take Care…
    )0(
    ladyblue
    (maryrose)

    • thank you ladybluerose, sometimes it’s just the pause that refreshes…i know i need it. and i’m so glad you liked “Mary…’, sha was a true friend of mine and i miss her a lot. i’m glad i have the words to remember her by.

      we’ll visit when i return::::peace::::

  3. Oloriel says:

    Thank you for sharing your story with me. I hope you have a well deserved rest and family time and I will be awaiting your return!

    • Oloriel, i will tell you the very first instant i saw your Gravatar image and your name, a feeling came over me, a hope that we would become this friendship. ty so much…i think about you often when i write my words, wondering if you will decipher my truth….again, and you always do and it means so much to me!

      so amazing are you!

  4. Sky Vani says:

    Enjoy your vacation and come back rested and regenerated 😀

    • thank you Sky. we’ll be working on renovating the old farmhouse, that kind of work is ‘yoga’ for me and relaxes me. Scout and i have been gifted this farm, an incredible story that i will begin to tell.

      and ‘who could know then’ that a poor boy from Brooklyn, might end his days on a farm in Indiana? what a mysterious life this is! ty for being you, we’ll visit when i get back.

      • Sky Vani says:

        i’m waving to Scout! 🙂 without her we wouldn’t have what we have now! and please, remind her that she still owes us some photos… this will be the perfect chance! 😀 lot of greetings and love to both of you… enjoy!

      • ha, you of the ‘long memory’. yes, they will be taken this weekend. i set up writing shop on the diningroom table, i bring almost all my familiar things including my lucky lamp. the farm is fertile ground for crops and writing, it is my retreat. you know i need to feel comfortable and i do, there, so expect it next week. 🙂

        and i will send your wave to her, her of the ‘never wants to wake up’ when she rises? LOL! and Cbear asked about you too, she loves your name as i do. ty for everything my dear friend!

      • Sky Vani says:

        Kisses to Cbear! :* No thank you, we said 🙂

  5. who could know that you had so much to say so well – savour the time away from the blogoshpere and look forward to more virtual visits p.s. will we get to see some of your painting?

    • ty so much for that wonderful compliment, and i will tell you that most of my early work is gone, stolen sadly and i took that as a sign then that a chapter in my life had ended. but now i see so much of myself in Cbear, my daughter who is so passionate and fearless about ‘being’ and ‘seeing’…there is a stirring and i will tell you without promising, and if there is a return it will be drawing, which was always my first passion.

      i so enjoy your perspective and scale, and getting to know you bit by bit. ty again.

  6. GauravSaxena says:

    Pranam (Namaste)…………

  7. What a beautiful post. I love the way you tell how what you had planned to do morphed into something else, and how it opened up and expanded. I’ll be looking forward to reading more about this evolution and enjoying your beautiful poetry. Namaste.

    • *head bowed*::::namaste::::and a warm welcome to you. thank you for so much kindness and encouragment and i look ahead to reading more of your words as well, such a fascinating story you have told so far, so beautifully written.

  8. Fill your well and come pour yourself on us afterwards dear~ Blessings ~Debbie

  9. What a beautiful process you are expericing! Rebirth of a grateful artist. I can most definitely relate…here is to the celebration of being! Thank you for your post.

    • and thank you for such a wonderful reply and a warm welcome to you. so sorry for this late reply, just returned tonight from our farm and no internet service there. i will definitely visit your space to see what i i’ve been misssing, would love to hear about your experience if it’s something you care to share.

      i’ve been dormant far too long: i’ve lived creatively but there’s a big difference in actually creating …..

  10. Greetings! I was away for a couple of days, so have a lot of catching up to do with your wonderful posts.

    Meanwhile, there’s a small gift waiting for you. Please visit here:
    http://thenomadicsoliloquist.wordpress.com/2013/06/30/quintet-of-radiance-five-ennobling-awards/

    Good day! 🙂
    Tanumoy

  11. Jessica says:

    Lovely blog. I love the name!!! It’s so true…

    • thank you and the warmest of welcomes to you!

      the name is the title of a tribute i wrote to my partner almost 3 years ago on our 10th anniversary. when i subscribed here on WordPress, the blog name and screen name were all available, and here we are!

      here it is, if you care to read it;
      https://whocouldknowthen.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/61/

      and thank you for liking so many of my poems, encouragement means a lot to this novice scribbler. *smilies*

  12. Great to meet you. The professor will be following!

  13. Hello Friend,
    It has been awhile…but nonetheless, I decided to share some joy because it time to pass on some community love. I have nominated you for some awards. 😀 Be sure to pick up your bundles at:
    http://deepsouldiver.wordpress.com/about/bundles-of-joy/
    Peace and joy in the journey!

  14. bgbowers says:

    Very pleased to meet you and discover your work. From what I’ve read, you don’t need writing classes. Writing is your soul’s work and you express it deftly. Bianca x

    • and i’m happy to meet you too Bianca, ty for finding me,
      and lighting the path to your wonderful writing and journey.

      i really appreciate you saying that, i guess it was one of the
      insecurities i had, and used, when Scout was telling me years ago
      that i should be writing. i can’t be in, or possibly learn in
      a classroom environment. so like most things i’ve learned, i absorb,
      rely on my intuition to make choices for me. i listen to my heart,
      and what you read here all will always be my truth, as much as know it.

      i’m so looking forward to reading more of your work, and ty again.

  15. Yay! I’m so happy the internet and mutual blogging friends led me to you. Your work is beautiful–provoking and calming at the same time–and I’m so glad to have found you.

    Warmly,
    Christy

    • hi Christina, ty so much and a very warm welcome to you. i really warms my heart that you feel that way about my words, i still have to pinch myself when i realize i’m writing poetry now! lol

      ty for your follow as well, i’ll be over to visit your blog soon and we can get a little more acquainted.

      • My gratitude for the warm welcome and for your visits.

        Ah, is that a play on your name, “whocouldknowthen,” that you would be writing poetry now? I think we are all born poets — but something happens to us as we grow up and that poetic voice is stifled, extinguished even in some, and we remain silenced so long we consider the prospect of writing poetry insanity. I’m glad that part of you has reawakened and that your flame did not go out.

        May it be forever fanned to poetic inferno.
        -c

      • oh you are most welcome Christina, i absolutely love your blog, you have made a friend for life with me! and truth be told, i got so inspired by the ‘letting go’ quotes, i’m writing a poem for Haiku Monday as we speak, so ty for that.

        ‘whocouldknowthen’ is the title to a piece i wrote for Scout, my partner 3 years ago on our 10th anniversary, i can find the linky if you want to read it? and i agree with you, sometimes we lose so much of our zeal for life and creativity as we experience and age, i kinda’ feel like i’ve ben reborn, become younger, found my child’s heart and reclaimed my lost innocence. these are themes i most often write about.

        so i planned on leaving a comment on your blog, but i got a little sidetracked..lol!

      • I’d love to read the piece you wrote for Scout! (Happy 13 years, I hope?) No rush though, I will go digging and browsing through your site this week. 🙂

        I’m glad you enjoyed the Letting Go piece; it was cathartic for me to gather all of the material together. I learn and feel so much from the words and feelings I encounter — though I do write on another blog, Words is certainly a fun diversion and a way to put some more beauty back into the world.

        I write often with music as a Muse, and most weeks will have a themed soundtrack–I forgot to add the YouTube link to Letting Go, but if music inspires you, feel free to listen while you ponder:

        Have a wonderful evening (day), Christy

      • Christina, i finally found it;
        https://whocouldknowthen.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/61/

        and i’m so glad to meet another writer who writes to music,
        beside Love, music is my primary inspiration. i include it
        on almost every poem. ty for the share, we have very similar
        tastes and i like many of the same musicians you do.

  16. Dale says:

    Such poignant reflections on what it means for you to have created this blog and arrived at your place of belonging….

    • hi Dale, ty and a very warm welcome to you.

      i really appreciate your kindeness, i’ve been around a while now,
      and i’ve learned not to take anything for granted in this life.
      i’m very thankful and grateful to my friends here at WP, i wouldn’t
      be writing my poetry without their support…how can i repay that gift?

      ty for leaving such a thoughtful comment, it means a lot to me. peace.

  17. […] gratitude extended to Mae from A Small Press Life and to WC from Who Could Know Then for kindly allowing us to share their beautiful words with you. Mae’s blog is a bookworm and […]

  18. Prasad says:

    Namaste,
    Just happened to run into your blog. You have got a beautiful space running here. Loved some of your write-ups. Its very subtle. I guess I will be hanging around here a lot. 🙂 Great work.
    Good luck with your endeavours.

    • hi Prasad and a very warm welcome to you.
      ty so much for being here and for finding my little blog
      in this great big WP universe. i encourage conversation
      here with my friends, i enjoy when folks hang around! lol!

  19. kalabalu says:

    Thank you for visiting my blog and enlisting it as one that you follow..I am humbled and happy..

  20. rjl2727 says:

    hey man, i stumbled across your stuff while on wunderwench’s blog. i had to check it out. haven’t hit your poems yet, but your philosophical outlook seems to resonate, and appearance of your blog is attractive. so, consider me your latest follower, and i’ll soon be into your work. peace. bob

  21. A genuine spirit within, we are all one, part of that one great spirit! I was moved by the heartfelt words you shared in such a selfless way! I am glad i was moved to embrace your blog! Have a wonderful weekend!

    • ty so much Wendell, and yes i embrace this understanding with you…..we are One. once i finally realized it,
      that everything i did and said had consequences beyond what i could see, it changed my life.
      i am so glad you are here, ty for such a wonderful comment.

  22. […] poems still arrive daily from the pen at  Who could know then? keeping up the 20 lines a day! Even as a poetry luddite – I realize I have had a piece of my […]

  23. You know, i find myself saying more in written words than in any conversations even with my wife and children, I am shy also, and have always been. My mother is of native american heritage, on all sides of her family, she once told me I was like her mother who never said a word, and when she did share something it was always profound with a lot of meaning. In short we are soulful, old souls who have returned to bring a pure lasting love back to the forefront, to lift others in their hearts and spirits! I was pushed by a friend, my wife on a recent trip to record my voice with some songs he had written for some of my poems he had been reading. He had been trying to get with me for three years and even sitting in his house…I was shy, but when it was over and 15 tracks were done. I was still the shy one, and he is also even though a true and gifted musician. I understand you, and your words for what you share is meaningful to me! Keep on writing you are a blessing to us all! Namaste!

    • oh good on you for taking the recording leap Wendell, that’s awesome! and getting me to talk is near impossible too especially in a group setting. my shyness was finally diagnosed, i have severe Social Anxiety which explains an awful lot about how i am in the world…or not! lol.i’d much rather not be, we don’t get along very well.

      and i always felt like an old soul too, that i’ve traveled this road before. there were a lot of obstacles to overcome on this trip, lots of work to do. fulfilling my creative destiny among them and now that i’m drawing again and illustrating my poems, there is a feeling of ‘wholeness’ , of ‘completeness’ lately. poetry is now in my blood, it’s impossible for meto not write now, and with encouragement like yours how could i? ty so much.

  24. emeraldwake says:

    Great blog, nice to be here, regards from Poland 🙂 EM

    • hi emerald wake and a very warm welcome to you,
      ty for reading some of my poetry and taking the
      time to leave a comment. i’m happy you’re here too,
      please don’t be a stranger!

  25. I am so glad I read this post. It will help me to see read in a more in depth way, and to appreciate your posts more fully… on a whole new level. I also love the picture of your farm…your home. That looks like a place one would have difficulty leaving.

    Blessings,
    Theresa

    • yes, i really hate to leave Theresa, there’s a very long gravel road that
      leads through our crop field and i am always looking back when we drive away.
      the little house was moved from the side of the main road where it was originally
      built about a hundred years ago, and plopped in the middle of thousands of acres.

      heh, that ‘about’ page was originally a post i wrote to thank my friends for their
      encouragement as i was leaving to visit the farm. for the longest time i had no
      ‘about’ page, i didn’t expect anyone to read my blog then and i’m terrible writing
      directly about myself. this post resonated with folks, so i just decided to use it..lol

  26. Dianette says:

    Fascinating…
    Regards, Dia…

    • hi Dianette and a very warm welcome to you! aww ty, but the truth often is, and honestly i still have to pinch myself to believe that i’m this obsessed with writing poetry now. lol we just never know where the unknown path will lead…..

      • Dianette says:

        Exactly…
        I think we all are a little bit (more) obsessed with writing, reading…
        Don’t stop…

      • oh now i’m intrigued to visit your blog Dianette,
        and i won’t stop writing, it’s taken a long time to finally find my niche’.

      • Dianette says:

        You shouldn’t… it’s a romanian blog (a bit english and a bit german… ) See? You have no reason. But I’ll be around… enjoying your lines…

  27. ywwp says:

    Just a suggestion:
    Go to Settings>Sharing, and select the checkbox – Front Page, Archive Pages, and Search Results
    Now if someone visits your blog, he/she may like the post without opening the post separately. It will help you get more likes on the blog.regards, http://YourWellWisherProgram.wordpress.com

    • ywwp, ty for the suggestion but honestly, I can barely keep up with the likes
      and comments as it is now. I kinda’ like that folks have to open the page to like
      the work, I think it’s too easy to just click ‘like’ on someone’s post.

  28. jessasmiley says:

    Congratulations, Who could know then! 😀

    I have nominated your blog for the Wonderful Team Membership Award.

    More about this nomination is at
    http://jessasmiley.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/wonderful-team-member-readership-award-nominee-with-gratitude-to-my-dear-kitty/

  29. angela says:

    appreciate your honesty and sincerity…glad I stumbled upon your writing. Oh, and never worry about responding or a visit, in kind- I think we sometimes happen upon people and places when we need to ‘be found’ .. namaste & peace~ a

  30. Julie says:

    I don’t think you could be more of a gentleman if you tried. You seem so very kind, warm and loving to all, not just people, nature and the universe as well. I trust that good things come your way- not just hope-

  31. Wishing YOU the best…it has been a long time since I have commented on your blog…I found YOUR poem reblogged on Happy Lifeaholic’s blog. I KNEW you immediately! Life has had its ups and downs in the last three years for me…and, I see, for you, as well. Blessings and may you find comfort and healing on the farm! I love your gentle writing!

  32. Jamaiquina says:

    I’m not sure you’ll even get this note, as I don’t know if you’re still here or not, but I wanted to say hello, and to hope that your life is flowing in better and better circles than it had been a year ago. All the best! K

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