everlasting

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this…straggler in the night
this wandering the hallway of the weary
this sleepless searching for that elusive home

you, lit in your softest candle light
you fold away the colorful cotton coverlet
you beckon, ’lay your head down, take your rest.’

and we…just fall into place
and join all our perpetual puzzle pieces
and our hearts eternal melding, each to the other

but some nights…wear on
but dreaming…our different dreams
but leading…these sometimes separate lives

when hands, find entwining fingers
when an accidental brush across a willing limb
when…a whispered reasurance in the uncertain night

and candles relit, our love’s flame endures
and us, never allowing darkness to carry the days
and our committment…to an everlasting loving embrace
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our decade…of dogs

for Lexie, for Flash
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Lexie
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my dear Scout

there is something
about a kindness given,
and in service to dogs
is every kindness returned

and there is something
about these life circles too,
’cause we’ve been THERE and
here we’re standing, once again

both our lives shaped so early by
our dogs, our childhood best friends
my emotions, memory so vivid of Flash
i can weep, just writing these few words

and by the mystery of reasons, we met that night
at a party, we both had no intention of attending
the universe granted me the gift of you…to love
and with you…came the Buddah serenity of Lexie

a few years old, almost four foot tall
such a majestic Black Lab, Great Dane
too much of a bother, to its owner
you loved on her, a lifetime bonding

so inseparable, were you both
so valued was her opinion, to you
so important was my introduction, to us

so it all began, our decade…of dogs

and how hundreds of your students
had a gentle Lexie, in their young lives
for so many, a first experience with a dog
lying so silently in your studio, hearing violins

and she accepted Willow, my black kitty
and when a kitten jumped in our red Honda
and it was snowing, she welcomed Penny too
and for eight years our 16 legs, was our family

for the 15 1/2 years, Lexie was with this earth
spreading her quiet joy, to any who would listen
and then, the saddening diagnosis from her doctor
us crying at the finality, for you the harshest reality

but true to your devotion, you found a vet
knowing Lexie so disliked those office visits,
he said, ‘Lexie could fall asleep in her favorite spot’
so right there as always, near the chair in our bedroom

and we said our goodbyes, to our good friend
and you hugged her, as she took her last breath
and we watched, as she crossed over Rainbow Bridge
and us kids, can someday play with our dogs…forever
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there is something
about a kindness given,
and our service to dogs
is now a kindness returned

and there is something
about these life circles too,
’cause we were THERE then and
we’re here with dogs, once again

there really should not ba a surprise, now
that these circles, revolve throughout our lives
because if there was any job, that i wanted to be
it’s to be in service to dogs, which is what i am

i spend days playing, training, administering meds
and keeping them company when their owner is gone,
a caretaker, a walker in every kind of weather
and the four years now, this job is no job at all

so, it would be months before you
didn’t come home, and cry yourself to sleep
then one day, ‘i don’t want a big dog again’
and for the first time, i sensed a yearning

and because i was so familiar now
with the traits, of so many dogs in my care
‘i know two Puggles, i think you should meet’
both of us favored large dogs, until then

for weeks we looked, for rescue Puggles
not an easy find, so popular was the breed
then Craigslist, an ad from a rescue foster home
outside Indy, we packed up my daughter Cbear

we all drove nearly 5 hours, from Chicago
and arrived almost in time, to see the whole parade
twice a day, two geese, a tabby cat and a Puggle
walked the path through the woods, single file
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named Scout, in the arms of Cbear, coming home
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Now it turned out, that puppy Scout
was a ‘busy’ boy, and kinda’ needy too
and this certainly wasn’t in our plan but,
‘i know 3 Frenchies, you might want to meet’

and after weeks and weeks, we found one
so rare to find a French Bulldog, on Craigslist
and on a worknight, off we went to Wisconsin
5 hours, north of Somewhere, i still have no idea
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Gigi at home, that first night
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fierce Gigi
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comedian Gigi
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tag
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timeout
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inseparable
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joy

painted faces

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so…I don’t do all that much talking
tucked in my corners, I observe the goings on
and maybe I’ve made far fewer friends than you
but I believe more in creating fewer enemies too

so…friend, you ask me about this quiet of mine
it’s just that some words, they come way too easy
they spill right out, spearing unsuspecting prey
and if they hit a mark, can you really talk them back ?

so…you will apologize, try and make amends
and I’ll probably just paint another smile on this face
it’s just that careless words, have this way of hurting
…so long after our painted faces turn away
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32 Flavors
I’d never try to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
I am 32 flavors and then some
I’ll never forget where I came from
I am 32 flavors and then some
I’m nobody but I am someone
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1000 little things

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my darlin’
i’ve lived you close
for this decade now
and can hum your tune
without a second thought

1000 little things you always do
when you don’t think I’m looking
because…oh, there you go again
making me love you a little more

do you really think I don’t see you
only removing clean plates
from the dishwasher everyday
but never, ever putting them back in?

do you really think I don’t see you
quickly shut your eyes when a movie
shows a poor animal cry out In pain
and silently moving your lips, ‘no, no, no?’

do you really think I don’t see you
die your little deaths, grieving every June
students taught as toddlers, graduate now 18?
hearing their violin cases close that one last time

do you really think I don’t see you
somehow make an empty potato chip bag
look half full, when there are only crumbs
and even that I know, fall for it every time?

do you really think I don’t see you
recognize, feel, the moment you arrive home
when this world has finally worn you down
or your bestie girlfriend just daggered your heart?

oh, my darlin’
after loving you this close, there’s nothing I don’t see
waiting ‘till the time is right, knowing you like to ask
a lesson I’m still trying hard to learn from you
you circle around in your silence ‘til you’re ready

ending up exactly where you always want to be
a little thing, standing there, with its head bowed
these large hands cradling that dark luxurious hair
reaching down, kissing your forehead, ‘ok Scout, tell me….’

1000 little things you always do
when you don’t think I’m looking
because….oh, there… you did it again
and making me just love you ever more
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These Are The Things About You
You can really stare.
You can stare a thousand miles
And yet still I know exactly what you see.
These are the things about you.
These are the things about you.
These are the things about you I know

lyrics and music written by Ivy and a song i finally
get to sing to someone. and as always, the poem was
written with this song as a soundtrack.::::enjoy::::
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dear friends…

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…because nothing turned out the way i planned and what a gift that is….

…because whether we expect it or not, what we give has a mysterious way of returning: i certainly didn’t expect very much when i started this blog and the little i have given has returned in such an overwhelming abundance…

…because i think it’s important depite my painful shyness in real life, to come out from behind these metaphors i hide behind and talk directly to you, who have done so much for me

the ‘a little about’
blurb on my sidebar

‘a collector of small details that would otherwise go unnoticed…
a partner…a father…an ex-painter turned storyteller now dipping
a tentative toe into poetry…i write about love, a lot’

this little synopsis of me is certainly true. it’s the partner / poetry detail that has now morphed into something so completely different than the small plan i had originally intended; the simple idea to write my story in prose, the smudges and my multitude of imperfections unfolding over time in a diary of memories.

i do seem to remember writing in prose once… 🙂

and here we are, me pleading with my head now in the clouds to come back down to earth, adjusting these eyes to a form that seems foreign and a little confining…because since April 9th when i overcame every fear i ever had about poetry, joined 20 Lines a Day and have been writing this poetry of mine non stop since.

i will freely admit to never haven taken a class or workshop on writing.
i am quietly and in my forgiving solitude while listening to this heart, and always with music through my heaadphones spurred on by all the love and encouragemnt so freely given taken leap after leap into another abyss, taken yet another chance to write yet another poem.

and he we are almost 50 poems later…

because of all of you…

and the subject and focus of most of these poems is her, she who always seems to know how to heal this sometimes troubled heart; Scout, my loving and committed partner of 10 years. i think it’s very safe to say this writing of her, about her and i will continue and because i’m more of a ‘go where the current takes you’ person, this will now be the reason this blog exists….it is, what it is. 😉

and so for the benefit of my many new friends, as a prologue of sorts i am reposting 2 ‘foundation’ pieces that will help you understand how and why our relationship ‘is’. one is ‘Through’, a poem i wrote April 19th and the the other, ‘Who Could Know Then’, written a year ago in March before i joined WordPress. this will always be a very special favorite of mine, so much so it became the namesake for this blog. and as you will see a foreshadowing of what was to be, in my writing.

there will be other things i will explore as well and already have, the story / poems? i love to write, some totally fictional and others composites of people i know, scenes i’ve witnessed, small details that i’ll always remember. here they are in chronological order if you’re interested:

Mary of Thornes, of Roses
her last page
digital misivs
in the wings
leap

i’ll revisit some of my essays and short stories, mostly of important people in my life, all women and resurrect them in poetry. and then our farm, which we will be traveling to tomorrow morning. it has always been a tranquility place for me, a place to rejuvinate and be still and quiet…just the sound of the breeze rustling the 100 acres of corn.
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the farm 027
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and now i have an apology to offer, to all the new friends over the last few weeks who i have not visited yet, gotten to know you and your own work because it is a ritual of mine, i think it’s important. so please know i will get there very soon,

and now i need to thank you all for the overwhelming abundance of love and encouragement i’ve been given, there is a late bloom occuring and a heart opening and a grateful artist once again creating in ways he could never imagine, just a few short months ago…

because of all of you.

thank you all so very much
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banner of innocence

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‘There is a light inside you
To shine if you choose it to
There is a light inside you
To light up the world for you
Light up the world with you
As only you can do’
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oh wounded heart, and how many years
have we walked this journey you and i
the dead ends and aborted beginnings
just how many understandings have
been set aside for yet another day?

only i know your tragedy and depth of despair
because i was there with you every painful day
deflecting the blows hoping i could protect you
covering these ears not to hear words slice so deep

oh wounded heart,

please hear the words i have found for you
forgiveness, love, acceptance and healing
hear them because the bruises they all faded
it’s the words you heard and the cuts remained

these clouds and shadows you live in
the dark and silence where you reside
there is a parting, an unmistakeable stirring
is it the light you’re drawn to or the words you hear?

because i swear

by everything holy in this world or the next
no hurt will ever again reach your gentle shore
and if the ferocity of my sword somehow misses its mark
this man will stand before you, accept the blows, every one

because the days of this silence and this fear are done

so let us swipe away those darkening shades
and open all the windows each and every one
this ambivalent world has missed your tender voice
it’s time to speak in steady words of love and light

my wounded child, this world is nothing to fear
because i have found ears that will listen
because i have found arms that will hold you
because i have found words spoken waiting to heal

here, take my hand and hold it tight
let’s take these first tentative steps
together, side by each other’s side
believing in each other along the way

sing your sweet lullaby’s of love and light
and i will unfurl this banner of innocence
because ours is only a righteous cause
a flourishing, protected and fearless child

my little boy, this world is nothing to fear
as long as we are always loving and caring
and always together, side by each other’s side
and always believing in ourselves along the way
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There is love inside you
To love you if you choose to
There is a love inside you
To love the world and you
Love the world and you
As only you can do.

Light of You
Emer Kenny
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renewal redux

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renewal was the first poem i wrote
after joining 20 Lines A Day on April 9th,
the second in my life.
i thought it was time now to add to it.
.

and

if

i
sound
wde eyed,
it’s because

i am.

i’m

a little
in awe of what
i’ve become,

so late

in my

day.
——-
and

a new
friend he
asked what

i did?

and

without
hesitation
‘i write poetry.’

expecting a
standard
respone

i’m

sure.

it’s

just that
listening to
this heart now…

‘…oh,

…nothing of
importance
to say

only
myself
to express.’